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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Amazing Adventures of Border Boy and CyberPastor

The Amazing Adventures of Border Boy and Cyber Pastor

"rules to the audience" 1. No killing our superheroes, 2. No ideas will be used that puts the heroes out of character (i.e. putting CP in a strip joint....although...undercover not a bad story idea --- ok no I don't want him to lose his job). The killing of any character is strictly the perogative of the executive editors, Dean and NJ.

Names abbreviated:

BB -- Border Boy

CP -- Cyber Pastor

TCT -- The Conservative Trucker, aka CT or Conservative Trucker

JTA -- Joi The Artist

AB -- AnnieB

DR -- Desert Rose

WP -- Wild Phil

Note: The Pink Ladies of DC are a group of high class call girls, likely unionized. Not you garden variety street walkers and not to be confused with the Code Pinko skags.



Our story opens in the White House at one of the huge Obama parties. Stars glitz and glamour everywhere, as the evening wears on the Secret Service is clearly hard at work keeping an eye on the myriad of libtard guests.

Servers are scurrying around waiting on the elitist guests hand and foot. There are 2 servers who seem a bit awkward though. ….

Yes, you guessed it, Those 2 American patriots, Cyber Pastor and Border Boy (super hero music) working hard filling champagne glasses and serving expensive oer d’ovres. But of course, They are part of a mission, like the many other missions they have executed, only this time the white house is not their friend.

Border Boy, clearly uncomfortable waiting on the Obama Obnoxious Elite; makes his way over to CP and mutters “So help me if Beyonce orders me to fetch her one more thing I’m going to Beyonce her right off that wall. CP says, "geesh don’t blow your cover now BB, we’ve gathered the intel we came for." Getting into Rohm Emmanuel’s computer was so much easier than they’d expected. Problem is they can't uplink to the satellite until they are outside the WH grounds. The two must escape the confines of the White House to be able to send the digital information.

Outside there are patriots standing by in the dark recesses to provide diversions and render assistance but the two operatives must get out of the building and off the grounds at all costs.

Border Boy: "Come on CP we have to get the hell out of here now!"

CP: "Right. You lead the way. We have everything we need. Let's go!"

As servers they are pushing carts with trays of food and other goodies walking casually so as not to make themselves conspicuous. It will get testy when they arrive at the WH kitchen to make their way out the back door. Besides the cooks and assistants, there are agents inside watching every move . Outside in the walkway are two Secret Service agents watching for anything that might be unusual or threatening.

Can they make it past the guards?

Still in the kitchen Border Boy says: "We could say we need a smoke break. Afterall there is no smoking inside the WH and we would have to go out the back to do it right?"

CP: "Clever. You have cigarettes?"

Border Boy: "Uh. Nope."

CP: "Well, let's ask one of the guards. You know. Bum a smoke and a light?"

Border Boy: "Yeah but we better pray one of them smokes....hehe." Border boy looks at CP and gives that classic grin and chuckle only he can deliver.

"This could get real intersting real quick."

CP: "Dadgumit Border Boy! This ain't no time for jokin' around."

Border Boy: "Alright. Let's do this thing."

CP mutters a prayer: "Oh dear God help us."

Border Boy: "Dittos. Well here goes."

Border Boy has spotted one of the guards standing near the back door of the white house kitchen. An expert and highly trained at reading body language, Border Boy thinks this one may indeed be the smoker they're looking for.

CP: "You be careful now."

Once again that classic Border Boy grin creases his face.

CP immediately begins praying. "Please Father...."

Slowly but resolutely Border Boy approaches the guard.

Border Boy: "Excuse me sir."

Agent Smoker: "Yeah? What is it?"

Border Boy: "Um, well my friend over there (pointing at CP who is fervently involved in praying) and I wanted to know if we can go outside for a smoke break."

Agent Smoker: "Sure. Why not?"

Border Boy: "Um, well you see both of us left our smokes at home and we wondered if we could get a couple off of you?"

Agent Smoker: " A couple of moochers eh?"

Border Boy: Grinning at the agent he says, "Nah. We'd be more than happy to pay you for them."

Agent Smoker: "Oh for cryin' out loud. Here!" Agent Smoker hands two cigarettes to Border Boy saying,"Go shorten your lives but be quick about it. We have more guests arriving soon."

Border Boy: Looks at CP and gives him a nod motioning to come on.

CP makes his way to the door and along with Border Boy starts to open the door when,

Agent Smoker: "Hold up there you two."

The agent begins walking toward them. CP and Border Boy look at one another quizically.

Agent Smoker: "You two numbnuts have a light for those smokes?"

With more than a little relief, Border Boy says: " Geez, you know what? We don't. Can you help us out there?"

Agent Smoker: "Jesus H. I s'pose you'll be wanting a kick in the chest to start them next."

CP cringes at the profanity

"Er...um. Sir would you mind not using that name?"

Agent Smoker: "What? You mean Jesus H.?"

"What are you some kind of religious nut?"

Border Boy: Elbows CP in the ribs and says; "Come on. It's ok. No problem sir."

CP: Stands there looking at the agent deciding on whether or not to say anything else and says, "Hey, no problem sir. No offense."

Agent Smoker: "Alright then. You two hurry the hell up. I’ve got other things to do tonight other than babysit the two of you.

CP: mutters to himself, "Yeah. Ain't that the truth."

Agent Smoker: "Huh? You say something?"

CP: "No sir."

Agent Smoker: "Alright hurry it up then."

Once again Border Boy and CP go to the door, opening it and step outside closing the door behind them.

The two agents guarding the walkway have moved further up and begin walking away from the area.

Border Boy: "Quick. Now's our chance. Let's haul ass."

CP: "Right behind you."

To be continued......